By Vanessa Feltz

“At Kate Winslet’s first wedding, to third assistant cameraman Jim Threapleton, the revellers convened for pie and mash at the local hostelry, and Kate was warmly congratulated by the world’s press for her down-to-earth, no-nonsense style.

Poor old Britney Spears attempts a similarly low-key celebration of what we assume was her union with dancer Kevin Federline and is castigated for choosing trailer trash over fairytale.

Let’s face it, the choices of any 22-year-old worth $100 million – whose preparation for life’s existential questions has been a childhood career as a hoofer and warbler for Disney’s Mousketeers – are bound to collapse under scrutiny.

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