1. Stacey Dash, because our blood runs cold, our memory has just been sold, our angel is the centerfold! The 40-year-old actress, best known as Dionne in the 1995 teen pic Clueless, bares all in the new August issue of ******* magazine. But Stacey, we hope that when this issue’s gone, we’ll see you when your clothes are on.

2. Kevin Federline, for best backpedaling. Federline claims his single “PopoZao” was intentionally released as a joke so he could capitalize on the fact people were laughing at him. Whatcha talkin’ about Cletus? “At first, when I put out “PopoZao,” people were kinda laughing at me. I did it on purpose so people would look at me exactly the way they did,” K-Fed explains. “That way, when I come out with my real ****, people are f%!#ing blown away.” We’re so ready for this wigger to blow our minds when he drops the next Straight Outta Compton.

3. Paris Hilton, for doing an about face that rivals K-Fed’s. Paris is claiming she deliberately set out to invent a character not like her true self for her reality series The Simple Life. “Before I started the show I thought I’d make a character like the movies. Legally Blonde and Clueless mixed together with a rich girl all in one,” she explains. “Even my voice is different from me in real life.” Queue soundbites of Paris saying, “That’s hot” on her fake show, the red carpet and interviews please.

Full list under “Read More.”


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