Britney has two new perfumes launching in February: Fantasy Britney Spears: The Naughty Remix & Fantasy Britney Spears: The Nice Remix.

This qualifies as “Perfume” promo. But what about the guys? I’m so confused.

Dear Elizabeth Arden,

A major part of Britney Spears’s fanbase consist of men. Gay men. Who’d buy the **** out of a male cologne simply because her name and face is on the packaging. We’d spray on our precious ~Aries for Men, by Britney Spears~ and walk into the club like ‘here I am *******.’

No one would be able to resist us, but we know we’re so much cooler now that we’ve got our scent promoted by Britney Spears just for the dudes. Ugh stop getting near me.

Straight men would buy it because they think Britney’s hot (voted sexiest female musician in 2013 WOOT). And if not, their girlfriends would buy it for them and they’d be all:

And like:

Y’all need to come up with a male Britney Spears cologne, and you may include me in the marketing / creative. I just texted Britney and she agrees.

xo Jordan