This is why we can’t have nice things.

Ed Sheeran denies Taylor Swift’s ethereal Reputation track “Dress” is about him.

Swift knew this would happen. She penned a letter to fans in her Reputation magazines that predicted the Internet would attempt to speculate over what man she’s singing about in every song. “When this album comes out, gossip blogs will scour the lyrics for the men they can attribute to each song, as if the inspiration for music is as simple and basic as a paternity test,” she wrote. “There will be slideshows of photos backing up each incorrect theory, because it’s 2017 and if you didn’t see a picture of it, it couldn’t have happened right?”

Smart, because it’s too true. Swifties were under the impression “Dress” took aim at her “End Game” collaborator. The lyrics in question? “Say my name and everything just stops / I don’t want you like a best friend.” You know, because they’re best friends.

Naturally, a reporter asked Sheeran about it. “I don’t think it is,” he said in a livestream chat. “I think if you read into it…it’s not…You know, because she mentions someone with a buzzcut hair cut, and I’ve never had a buzz cut hair cut,” he said.

This is why we can’t have nice things.

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