Dear The National Enquirer,
Your recent issue states Britney’s headed to the mental ward because the Las Vegas gig is ~just too much to handle.~
How are you still in business? Is your audience really big enough to support your blatant lies? Are your sources crackhead bums living in gutters (no offense to crackhead bums living in gutters)? Are your lives so pathetic that you feel better about yourself writing this **** because you know when you go home at night all you have to look forward to are re-runs of “The Nanny” and feeding your cat? I feel sorry for you. Not really.