Miley Cyrus can’t get over the goo.


From Disney child star, to rebellious young adult to… a baby?

Miley Cyrus may have put away the strap-ons and *****-pasties for her latest self-directed music video alongside Diamond Martel, but it’s still bizarre nonetheless.

In her latest Miley Cyrus & Her Dead Petz visual, Cyrus makes the case that sometimes the mushiness in a relationship makes us feel like a “dumbass *****.” That’s why she’s dressed up in infant outfits throughout the clip, to rebel against acts of PDA and open affection.

“I have no idea what the **** I want I guess,” Cyrus admits in the intro of the song. From there, it’s bubble baths with inflatable rubber duckies, provocative stares from inside a crib and dancing in an oversized diaper. We’re choosing to believe she’s not intentionally sexualizing the kids theme and instead aims for the message that outward loving makes her feel powerless, but then again… she’s just being Miley.

“You know what,” Cyrus rants, “in the beginning it was like we were ******* homies and **** and then all of a sudden you started with some ******* baby goo-goo tongue down my ******* throat. I mean, even in front of your mom. Dude, as if I’m not ******* awkward enough. I mean, you put me in these ******* situations where I look like a dumbass ***** and I’m not a ******* dumbass *****. You know, like, I hate all that ******* PDA, I probably hate it more than your ******* friends do. You know, it’s sweet and you couldn’t be more opposite of my last ******** but I don’t know if I can get over the ******* goo.”

Sometimes, being in love in your twenties makes you miss your mommy.

Thoughts? Let us know in Exhale!