Madonna Just Like Us For Jury Duty Except Not Really

When you’re Madonna, there’s no such thing as a simple task. Going to the grocery store requires an entourage of nannies and security, fetching the mail consists of two assistants – one to walk the dog and the other to open and lick envelopes… and jury duty, which Madonna so kindly agreed to, demands a red carpet.

Madonna’s court appearance on Monday was nothing less of a spectacle, ******* off other potential jurors because of special treatment.

She postponed her civic duty twice. The first after the Memorial Day weekend when she used a last-minute doctor’s note, and then again on June 30.

Two court officers, three policemen, two bodyguards and an assistant escorted the “Messiah” singer to security before getting whisked off to a private office to meet with a head clerk.

County Clerk Norman Goodman reportedly joked he was going to lock her up.

She could handle her own.

Madonna Proves She's Just Like Us For Jury Duty

Madonna’s appearance in court was required by law, but no one wanted her there!

“She’d be a total distraction,” the attorney said. “I’m sure she’s bright, but her celebrity overrides her intellect. Everyone would be staring at her — I know I would.”

A juror chimed in, calling Madonna’s visit “outrageous” because of her swift entrance sans waiting in line like the rest of the peasants we call Americans.

“It’s a painfully long day and it doesn’t seem quite right,” said professor Marianne Pita. “Everyone should have to wait in the same line.”

Oh relax. The court was in on the shenanigans! A court spokesman explained that Madonna’s late entrance was important to eliminate distraction amongst the other people there to serve.

“We’re happy she’s coming.”