Slow news day = Britney *** story. Naturally!

According to some random *** website in New Zealand, Britney “snuck out of her home in disguise for a secret *** session.” I’ve been waiting to read that sentence all year! Not.

Britney reportedly defied daddy’s strict orders: NO MEN. But Britney smacked her gum, rolled her eyes and threw Brett’s chin at her dad and went out anyway – even bragging about the rendezvous with the mystery man upon her return.

A source said: “She’s been a prisoner in her own home and began to crave affection and attention from someone other than her parents, which is only natural.”

“She told her dad she got a ride with the person she’d arranged to meet and gone to their house in Los Angeles for a few hours. She told him not to worry and that it was someone she’d known a long time who was a good person and wouldn’t hurt her.”

Jamie was apparently “furious” over the incident. Shocker! He gets furious if the cheese in his grits isn’t Velveeta!

The source added to Britain’s Now magazine: “Britney told him that she was a grown woman and ordered him to get out of her room. She didn’t come out for the rest of the day.”

File this under the ******** category – but what the hell else am I supposed to report? I feel like her official site now. ::shudders::

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