It’s only Monday.

Well this is uncomfortable.

Jessica Simpson has given some wacky interviews in recent years, but her latest sit-down with Ellen takes the cake. If you want to hear the pop star turned business mogul gab about random things, you’re in luck!

Here are the highlights(?):

■ She isn’t pregnant. “We had an IUD. Nothing’s gonna get in that uterus!” K.

■ Mermaids.

■ And attempts to calculate basic math when recalling how many years her and husband Eric Johnson have been together. The answer is seven. “That’s a long time. I don’t know if I’ve ever had a seven-year relationship, other than with a woman,” Simpson said.

You’ve been warned:

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