Seattlest’s token bicycle hobo friend (who would himself blog for Seattlest if only Google would unveil the much-needed hobo translator language tool) clued us in to a little eBay scheme his friend – also a bicycle hobo – recently initiated, whereby said hobo tries to sell a half-eaten corndog and egg salad sandwich allegedly touched by Britney Spears and her rapping man-child pet K-Fed.

From the auction’s hilariously straight-faced copy:

A couple of months ago I was working a private music industry event with about 40 tables. Execs, some artists, label people, all those kinds of people. My section had Britney Spears and Kevin Federline. In situations like this, we’re expected to do the usual catering thing, pick up plates after they are done, bring water and wine, pretty much just do anything that they need without talking their ear off or getting in celebrities faces. It does not however say anything about how I am supposed to discard their food when they have me pick up their leftovers.

As if anyone needs to tell a hobo what to do with other people’s leftovers. Today the snide blog Defamer linked to the auction without questioning the veracity of the allegations or the credibility of the seller. Sherlock Seattlest calls ******** on this auction, friends. Luckily, eBay buyers from all over the world know they can turn to Seattlest for our sleuthing skills and steadfast internet truth enforcement.

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