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Dirk

About boys and ex's.

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what's your experience with your boy/crush exes?

I'm so "lucky" that all the boys I hook up just ended their relationships in a short time and they miss their exes.

heartbroken boys are so misery. 

there is this guy I'm dating, I really like him he's cute and all

but he still has a lot of pictures of his ex-boyfriend on his insta,

his ex-boyfriend likes his pictures and stuff (not that it's a big deal but in this context it is)

we hit it off, he's great but I started liking him and making plans like beach trips and stuff and he thinks it's going "too fast"

I guess I will say goodbye, I already have a date tonight with a new guy to keep going bc this one is not the one for now.

(they only broke up because his ex moved to another city)

I'm a Sagittarius, I like people who like to go adventure life with me without thinking too much.

the same story happened to my ex-boyfriend, one day his ex message him saying happy Easter with a cute message and he fell in love again and we broke up. 

 

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i never had a boyfriend. but i have went on several first dates that never lead to a 2nd one. most of the times, the guy always texted back something stupid like, "oh i dont think we are meant to be" or "I think i'm straight"... ? i'm just like wtf... these reasons are stupid af. i prefer something simple and str8forward like, "you're ugly"... it makes it less confusing... i don't mind honesty. 

there are times when i don't agree to go on 2nd date with someone.  and yeah 1 of the reason is because that guy had a picture of him and his ex-bf (who he calls the love of his life) why would you say this to someone u on a first date with... like some people are really beyond stupid...   for me that was a signal to GTFO. 

another was because he was using an old (younger) pic of him where he was more muscular and had hair. but in real life he was really skinny and bald XD... it's a shallow reason... but i felt at the time that he was lying so i didn't want to be with someone who used a semi-fake pic to get my attention.... 

Then another... he talked too much... and we were talking about refugees and he has a very trump-like attitudes towards refugees, so i didn't like him.  after we finished our coffee, i just walked as fast i could to the train station to get back home, and he followed me to shake my hand. he tried to re-contact me on the dating app, but i didn't reply cuz i don't like people who think like Donald Trump (that only he and people born in his country deserve to live there or something). 

 

i complain about being single all the time, but sometimes i feel like i deserve it for always listening to my gut feeling and following all the red lights alert... but i don't want to be in a committed relationship unless i feel 100% sure that that person is the one.  i feel like all the guys i've met don't even try to pretend to be "good" or at least make an effort to leave a good impression... or maybe i just see through people really easily... because i tend to over-analyze people.

 

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On 7/18/2018 at 11:39 PM, Dirk said:

the same story happened to my ex-boyfriend, one day his ex message him saying happy Easter with a cute message and he fell in love again and we broke up.

Ok what the actual f-ck. He broke up with you for an happy easter message? Good for you that he left.

But maybe this new guy is different, you could try to test him somehow :nynod:

2 hours ago, STJ said:

he has a very trump-like attitudes towards refugees, so i didn't like him.

boner killer

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Here's my advice after trying to make it work with someone who wasn't over their ex or ready for a new relationship: abandon ship. Avoid it at all costs. Not worth the time. I had so many red flags I ignored because I liked the person and wanted it to work and it just ended up with unnecessary stress and time wasted.

I got this same advice when I was in the same situation. I didn't listen and had to learn it the hard way. It's better to be single than it is with someone who isn't right for you (keep in mind: even if you're compatible, the timing is clearly not right in this situation, which makes that person not right for you).

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I've only ever had two relationships, both of which were two years each.

 The first guy was incredibly controlling but I was 18 at the time and madly in love with him so accepted it :mhm:

The second guy turned out to be a serious sleaze and that concludes my faith and trust in men... I'm kinda at a stage that even if Zac Efron declared his undying love for me I would pass :crying2:

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On 7/18/2018 at 4:39 PM, Dirk said:

 

what's your experience with your boy/crush exes?

I'm so "lucky" that all the boys I hook up just ended their relationships in a short time and they miss their exes.

heartbroken boys are so misery. 

there is this guy I'm dating, I really like him he's cute and all

but he still has a lot of pictures of his ex-boyfriend on his insta,

his ex-boyfriend likes his pictures and stuff (not that it's a big deal but in this context it is)

we hit it off, he's great but I started liking him and making plans like beach trips and stuff and he thinks it's going "too fast"

I guess I will say goodbye, I already have a date tonight with a new guy to keep going bc this one is not the one for now.

(they only broke up because his ex moved to another city)

I'm a Sagittarius, I like people who like to go adventure life with me without thinking too much.

the same story happened to my ex-boyfriend, one day his ex message him saying happy Easter with a cute message and he fell in love again and we broke up. 

 

Forgive the brief psychoanalysis, but have you ever considered the fact that perhaps you're subconsciously selecting emotionally unavailable men due to some unresolved issue or anxiety of your own pertaining to attachment and/or rejection? In other words, you're choosing these guys on the rebound (albeit not intentionally), and both common sense and past experience prove these scenarios are very unlikely to turn into lasting, committed relationships. So in my opinion (which could be completely wrong, obviously), you need to do some introspection, and figure out why you're hesitating to allow yourself to find someone you can be 100% committed to (and vice versa). 

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6 hours ago, LostInAnImage said:

Forgive the brief psychoanalysis, but have you ever considered the fact that perhaps you're subconsciously selecting emotionally unavailable men due to some unresolved issue or anxiety of your own pertaining to attachment and/or rejection? In other words, you're choosing these guys on the rebound (albeit not intentionally), and both common sense and past experience prove these scenarios are very unlikely to turn into lasting, committed relationships. So in my opinion (which could be completely wrong, obviously), you need to do some introspection, and figure out why you're hesitating to allow yourself to find someone you can be 100% committed to (and vice versa). 

 

I think you're kind right, I was always a free bird and growing up I always had this thought of being a single and "afraid" of commitment, because I felt like I want to do so much and it's better independent and single than with someone. just now that I'm more open about it, I know myself much more now to try to give a fresh light to this. I'm more like to support and very available with friends than to have a partner and such.

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