Jump to content
HuffingAndPuffingOnStage

Can a drunk hookup mean something?

Recommended Posts

So me and my friend went to a bar together and when we came back to his dorm and our other friend left, he came onto me pretty strongly and we ended up hooking up but not going all the way or doing anything too R rated.

We were both drunk. he initiated the whole thing, I tried leaving around 3 times because I was tired but he really wanted me to stay. I was scared of going too far so when he went to the bathroom I got dressed. The whole thing lasted about an hour and a half. I kissed him goodnight and left. 

When we had class together 2 days later he acted completely normal like nothing happened. A week later I finally had the guts to ask him about it. His face got red and he apologized for what happened and said that he was blacked out for most of it. 

I'm just really confused right now because honestly I like him now. I know alcohol can make you do things, but I don't know. Personally, I wouldn't hookup with one of my friends even while super drunk if I wasn't into them, cause I know how messy that would get. I know it lowers your inhibitions, but deep down you're still the same person, right?

Any advice/ opinions? 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Drunk hookups don't mean anything TF :rlynow:

My only advice would've been to bring it up but since you already did and got that reaction from him sounds like he's pretty embarrassed about it :ohdear:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You like him while being sober, go for it

  • Upvote 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, JustLuvMe said:

Drunk hookups don't mean anything TF :rlynow:

My only advice would've been to bring it up but since you already did and got that reaction from him sounds like he's pretty embarrassed about it :ohdear:

yeah i definitely think he's embarassed, hopefully its cause he thinks i wasn't into him and not cause he's embarassed it was with me :(

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, Margaery said:

You like him while being sober, go for it

I kinda wanna tell him I like him but I also don't want things to be weird if we hangout together!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, HuffingAndPuffingOnStage said:

yeah i definitely think he's embarassed, hopefully its cause he thinks i wasn't into him and not cause he's embarassed it was with me :(

Well it sounds like when you brought it up he was mostly embarrassed of his actions, I mean either deep down he likes you or he was just horny in the moment...get drunk with him again and find out. That's the only way you'll know for sure :holduplisten:

  • Upvote 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
27 minutes ago, JustLuvMe said:

Well it sounds like when you brought it up he was mostly embarrassed of his actions, I mean either deep down he likes you or he was just horny in the moment...get drunk with him again and find out. That's the only way you'll know for sure :holduplisten:

school just got out so I won't see him for 3 months cause we live far away from each other but I will definitely try that when we get back, thank you! Maybe this time I will initiate

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8 hours ago, HuffingAndPuffingOnStage said:

I kinda wanna tell him I like him but I also don't want things to be weird if we hangout together!

Well, talk with him! I mean, he is maybe confused that it was with a guy, say to him that you like him (as a friend) and you don't want to lose him as a friend just because of that. That's the first step, because he maybe doesn't feel comfortable about it.

And just wait for his response, i mean what else could you do? :slowdown:

  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

5 hours ago, Alexanda said:

Well, talk with him! I mean, he is maybe confused that it was with a guy, say to him that you like him (as a friend) and you don't want to lose him as a friend just because of that. That's the first step, because he maybe doesn't feel comfortable about it.

And just wait for his response, i mean what else could you do? :slowdown:

he's openly gay so I don't think he's confused that it was with a guy. But yeah I think I will tell him I like him thank you, it's just hard though, like what do I do, randomly send a text out of the blue?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
28 minutes ago, HuffingAndPuffingOnStage said:

he's openly gay so I don't think he's confused that it was with a guy. But yeah I think I will tell him I like him thank you, it's just hard though, like what do I do, randomly send a text out of the blue?

Well when he's gay or bi, it isn't THAT complicated, send him a textmessage: That you are confused that you like him and you think it's a little bit more than that. But you don't want to destroy your friendship with him, so you will accept his answer and move on (if that's what he wants)

it's better this way i guess, because you don't have to ask yourself later: why didn't i do anything?

 

  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Bury your feelings deep inside, act normal and don't talk about it ever again to anyone cause God is watching :wontcry:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Don’t ever fall for blanket statements like “drunk hookups are meaningless,” it completely depends on the two people involved and the circumstances. People are complex and motivations for behavior are endless.

For example, my very first drunken hookup (sans sex, like yours) turned into a four-year relationship, we cohabited and were planning to get married. Unfortunately, he was abusive so I finally got the guts to leave at the end, but that’s neither here nor there, haha. 

Oh! For a more positive example that amazingly escaped my mind, my current boyfriend and I have been together for over two years, live together and are very happy. And our first time making out was when we were both inebriated. We had secretly liked each other for a while but both were too shy to make the first move sober. 

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 5/18/2018 at 2:29 PM, Alexanda said:

Well when he's gay or bi, it isn't THAT complicated, send him a textmessage: That you are confused that you like him and you think it's a little bit more than that. But you don't want to destroy your friendship with him, so you will accept his answer and move on (if that's what he wants)

it's better this way i guess, because you don't have to ask yourself later: why didn't i do anything?

 

I agree with this, if you like him enough, it’s worth the risk of making things awkward. But it depends on just how much you like him, because you do have to be prepared for the possibility that it’ll ruin your friendship.

However, I wouldn’t wait three months to bring this up, @HuffingAndPuffingOnStage. A LOT can happen within that time period, including losing feelings that were previously there and potentially finding someone else. I’d address it now, and then if the news is good you can at least engage in constant contact while apart. It’ll be the best, longest foreplay ever, hah.

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On 5/20/2018 at 8:16 AM, IUSAtonight said:

Bury your feelings deep inside, act normal and don't talk about it ever again to anyone cause God is watching :wontcry:

In the event god DOES exist, he definitely doesn’t have a problem with homosexuality, or he wouldn’t have made it a natural and pervasive occurrence throughout the entire animal kingdom. :sendinglove:

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, LostInAnImage said:

Don’t ever fall for blanket statements like “drunk hookups are meaningless,” it completely depends on the two people involved and the circumstances. People are complex and motivations for behavior are endless.

For example, my very first drunken hookup (sans sex, like yours) turned into a four-year relationship, we cohabited and were planning to get married. Unfortunately, he was abusive so I finally got the guts to leave at the end, but that’s neither here nor there, haha. 

Oh! For a more positive example that amazingly escaped my mind, my current boyfriend and I have been together for over two years, live together and are very happy. And our first time making out was when we were both inebriated. We had secretly liked each other for a while but both were too shy to make the first move sober. 

aw thank you for your advice, it was really good. I'm sorry about your marriage, glad you got out.

I also liked your comment about weighing how much I like him vs how much I care about the friendship. I guess I'm not really in love with him or anything, so I wouldn't want to make things in our friend group awkward. I guess at the end of the day intuition is important right? And even though he's hard to read, when we're sober I just really feel he doesn't like me like that. I guess what's most upsetting about this isn't that I like him, but that now I feel kind of used, like he was just horny and lonely that night, and just used me to temporarily fix that. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
9 hours ago, HuffingAndPuffingOnStage said:

aw thank you for your advice, it was really good. I'm sorry about your marriage, glad you got out.

I also liked your comment about weighing how much I like him vs how much I care about the friendship. I guess I'm not really in love with him or anything, so I wouldn't want to make things in our friend group awkward. I guess at the end of the day intuition is important right? And even though he's hard to read, when we're sober I just really feel he doesn't like me like that. I guess what's most upsetting about this isn't that I like him, but that now I feel kind of used, like he was just horny and lonely that night, and just used me to temporarily fix that.  

I mean everyone is picky, it's not like he would have sex with anyone? I mean at least i don't think most people would do that. Take it as a compliment, because well, it's better to think positive isn't it?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, Alexanda said:

I mean everyone is picky, it's not like he would have sex with anyone? I mean at least i don't think most people would do that. Take it as a compliment, because well, it's better to think positive isn't it?

yeah you're right. we did other stuff but we didn't have sex, maybe we would have but I stopped it cause I realized it probably wouldn't be a good idea.

Yeah, think positive, that's a good idea. I mean even though he was drunk, i know he's at least attracted to me, right? Personally even when I'm drunk I wouldn't make a strong move on someone i'm not attracted to

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

He's probably ashamed bc it seems you didn't want him back when he drunkenly wanted you.

So text him and ask him to hang out, to drink something, that you like him closer or something huakshfk

:groovin:

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

9 hours ago, Dirk said:

 

He's probably ashamed bc it seems you didn't want him back when he drunkenly wanted you.

So text him and ask him to hang out, to drink something, that you like him closer or something huakshfk

:groovin:

yes ok i will do this right when the school year starts so we can hangout

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.



×