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It Came To an End...

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So it's about my platonic crush at work . This boy has been working for like 3 months. He is good looking and manly like muscular /big. I was unaware of his existence . Because I was seeing a girl . Now I broke up with the girl and I felt very empty and then he caught my attention . All I do is thinking about him . I can't sleep and work properly. I'm trying hard to speak to him ( and it's generally about something nonsense because I'm too excited when I'm near him.)

He looks someone like has no interest in boys. He is %99 straight. I know I can do nothing about this but is there chance of %1 ?

I havent had a relationship with a guy before but I have this feelings. My parents also know about my feelings, they wouldnt probably support me but ..

what I can do ? All I wanna do is hugging him and holding his hands :otears: 

 

UPDATE : I looked at his whatsapp profile pic . He is with a girl . I'm not shocked about it . No disappoinment here . But heart is broken . I want to cry so bad but I just can't. This is my fate I guess. I dont wanna accept it but there is nothing to do about it .

I hate being myself . Sometimes I wish I dont exist. 

 

MAJOR UPDATE (and hopefully the last ):

Remember me having difficulties to talk to him ?  at some point I had enough courage to touch his legs and d ( that was an accident though) lol

yeah we spent our time together here and there. we did so many normal things. we shared our fears and secrets. We tried to be friends but we just couldn't be. Because we were flirting . it could be seen when you se us. 

I kissed him on the cheek and neck so many times. he kissed me as well eventhough he doesn't like to. I didn't push him. I hugged him and almost touch his whole body . he was touching me as well..It was like a dream which I wanted to live.

like every good thing, it came to an end. we started to argue likr lovers. we stopped talking and started again. I went to see a psychologist. she told me to go for it. He always had to remind me that he has a girlfriend. He knew he killed  me with his words. but he didn't stop. It became so tiring. I couldn't resist anymore. I didn't say anything to him when I cut him off from my life, so did he.  We are now two strangers. When he appears in front me, I pretend not to see him. 

So yeah , that was it. It's over now and yes of course I'm still trying to get used to it butI know that I can make it.

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I would say try to hang out as friends a few times. If he has any interest in a romantic way it will probably show(?)

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2 hours ago, IUSAtonight said:

I would say try to hang out as friends a few times. If he has any interest in a romantic way it will probably show(?)

Thank you for your comment 

When I talk to him he looks like a stupid . I mean he is like he doesn't understand what I say. So it would be hard to understand his expressions.:triggered: 

I dont even know his number . he may have a girlfriend . I would be so heartbroken if he has one but aah I'm going crazy . He is too cute :kyliecry:

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2 hours ago, Kangin said:

Thank you for your comment 

When I talk to him he looks like a stupid . I mean he is like he doesn't understand what I say. So it would be hard to understand his expressions.:triggered: 

I dont even know his number . he may have a girlfriend . I would be so heartbroken if he has one but aah I'm going crazy . He is too cute :kyliecry:

What do u mean he doesn't understand? Do you speak different language? You can check his social media to see if he has a girlfriend

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11 hours ago, IUSAtonight said:

What do u mean he doesn't understand? Do you speak different language? You can check his social media to see if he has a girlfriend

No lol we both speak the same language . He looks stupid enough to understand my feelings towards him. He made his social media accounts private  :otears:

 

8 hours ago, JustLuvMe said:

You want to f**k him don’t you :urite:

No :quirkney: I really mean it. I'm such an innocent boy when it comes to my crush. 

But Baekho aka my new fave is on the other hand 

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I saw him with a girl at work outside the building . He was smiling and looked like a boyfriend of her . 

I'm about to cry and die due to too much pain

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Honey, this is a problem for all of us - falling in love with a straight guy... There's nothing you can do about it honestly, just get over it.

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8 minutes ago, G L O R Y said:

Honey, this is a problem for all of us - falling in love with a straight guy... There's nothing you can do about it honestly, just get over it.

This is difficult as you know . Seriously I wanna die . Whats that feeling ? Why do I have to experience this 

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Stay strong dude :( I know it's tough, but as @G L O R Y said we've all been there. 

The good news is, there are tons of manly gay men out there, they're just harder to notice than the queens. I have no doubt in my mind that you will find your man on the moon :) :hugs:

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4 hours ago, Chaoscontrol said:

Stay strong dude :( I know it's tough, but as @G L O R Y said we've all been there. 

The good news is, there are tons of manly gay men out there, they're just harder to notice than the queens. I have no doubt in my mind that you will find your man on the moon :) :hugs:

I just can't . I have to see him everyday. We kinda work together at some topics . I need to get away from him but at this point , it's impossible. I know I'm not the only one who is going through this situation but still it's ruining your life and the people around you just don't understand .

my condition at work has been decreasing lately because of him and it will also be very devastating .

I dont think I will be happy in my life . This is not my first time . Sometimes I like girls sometimes I like boys . I dont consider myself as bisexual because I guess I like boys more. But at the same time I want to marry with a girl and have babies. 

This is too much :imok:

thank you for your supportive messages 

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22 hours ago, Kangin said:

I saw him with a girl at work outside the building . He was smiling and looked like a boyfriend of her . 

I'm about to cry and die due to too much pain

Calm down, that doesn't mean 1. he is into girls... how often i get these comments about myself... and sometimes they think i am into a girl (it's just a friend) But i hate attention, so think whatever you want to think i guess. 2. Maybe he is not into girls all the time... i mean... :mattafact:

You should start to communicate with him and ask him out for a beer (after work it's not that weird), a party - random stuff and be careful with gay / bi stuff, instead of telling him about you, just ask about his opinion in general.

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1 hour ago, Kangin said:

 

 

I dont think I will be happy in my life . This is not my first time . Sometimes I like girls sometimes I like boys . I dont consider myself as bisexual because I guess I like boys more. But at the same time I want to marry with a girl and have babies. 

This is too much :imok:

 

Don't think too much and enjoy life, go with whatever makes you happy :hugs:

 

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2 hours ago, Alexanda said:

Calm down, that doesn't mean 1. he is into girls... how often i get these comments about myself... and sometimes they think i am into a girl (it's just a friend) But i hate attention, so think whatever you want to think i guess. 2. Maybe he is not into girls all the time... i mean... :mattafact:

You should start to communicate with him and ask him out for a beer (after work it's not that weird), a party - random stuff and be careful with gay / bi stuff, instead of telling him about you, just ask about his opinion in general.

I dont know I've just seen him with her . He looks so happy and flirty with her. I started to sweat like crazy and felt like got punched in the belly . I got out of the room asap. 

Earlier I dropped my pen he was there and took it for me . I didn't even thank and look. I will try not to communicate or something with him if I can .

even his sneezing is so cute like a baby and that sound just cant get out of my mind . 

He has just passed me on my way omg while I was writing this . My heart :crying11:

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The girl he often talks to is so beautiful and kind. I used to think she is so down to earth now I hate her :umsaywhat: she just asked me something I answered in a very cold way. She is not responsible of what I'm going through I know but :quirkney:

 

the guy told me good evening. I didnt talk back I hope he understands somehow lol .

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5 hours ago, Kangin said:

I didnt talk back I hope he understands somehow lol .

That's not how it works sweety, and you know it ;) He can not read your mind, so do something. :lemmetellu:

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15 minutes ago, Alexanda said:

That's not how it works sweety, and you know it ;) He can not read your mind.

:giggleney: 

we sometimes stare each other but I doubt he has feelings for me. I look at him hoping he understands something and also I love looking at his handsome face . on the other hand he looks so stupid that's why he looks back blankly

I'm talking too much here sorry :quirkney:

 

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Last weekend I didn't see him so that I thought I would be doing better. And yeah it was good but today he was next to me I didnt say hi or good morning then the girl had to appear out of nowhere and is totally eye fucking with him passing by

 

I'm so jealous right now I want to beat that guy so bad . I hate love I hate it

Now I have moved my stuff to the girl's room so I can watch them all day long to torture myself :crying11:

I have no one to talk about this so I'm writing here . So glad I have an account here

Edit: he has just said something about me to someone else . I was there and I replied back with no emotion . I didnt even look at his face. I'm trying to be cold and careless . I hope this will help me to forget him. 

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They are just in front of me talkinh like whispering and giggling at the same time . I'm shedding tears

I need to quit the job

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I'm so stupid 

I went to the place where he works and asked them if they needed some help so we begun to work together for like 30 minutes , all my concentration for getting away from him was broken by my stupidity.

he smiled me so many times in just 30 minutes like I'm not the one who treated him bad lately . I melted away but :

the interesting thing I didn't get too excited or my heart didn't jump like crazy. I was so cool . I guess I'm only jealous when he is with somebody else but when he is near to me everything is just normal 

I don't understand myself

 

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5 hours ago, Baekhoe said:

I'm so stupid 

I went to the place where he works and asked them if they needed some help so we begun to work together for like 30 minutes , all my concentration for getting away from him was broken by my stupidity.

he smiled me so many times in just 30 minutes like I'm not the one who treated him bad lately . I melted away but :

the interesting thing I didn't get too excited or my heart didn't jump like crazy. I was so cool with I am . I guess I'm only jealous when he is with somebody ele but when he is near to me everything is just normal 

I don't understand myself

 

I know it's not the same, but I have a crush on one of my former cast members in the school drama we did (she's bi so it's not an orientation problem) Anyway we were becoming really close at the end of the show, but now that it's over I don't see her very often. I'm also way to scared to ask her out because 1. I look up to her so much, I really don't want to lose her as a friend, 2. She's very attractive and I'm... well... not, and 3. She's a senior and I'm a freshman; some people find the three year age difference disturbing. My point is, if this a friendship you think is worth keeping, don't make any move until the signs are for sure. You never know when a person is naturally flirty,just having a nice day, or actually wants you. (In my case, my crush is somewhat of a flirt in that she's very close with her friends, but she barely talks to anyone younger than her except me. She also likes to touch my face and smile at me for a long time, which makes me very nervous :triggered:) Again, I'm nothing special, but I do have one thing: I have charm. Not real charm, just carefully planned moves that I know will make her like me more. But I'm subtle, I drop hints here and there. You should still be yourself because at the end of the day, your crush should like you for who you are, not who you pretend to be :nyschool:

Spoiler

Not that off topic, but the jealousy is so much worse when your crush is very sexual. She legit wraps her legs around her best friends' necks and they start borderline dry scissoring just for fun in front of everyone and I'm sitting there acting cool while I'm really dying inside ( She did purposely flash me once for ten seconds so I'm not too upset :urite:)

But still don't let jealousy get in the way of love :yesokay:

 

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6 hours ago, I'mSoCurious said:

I know it's not the same, but I have a crush on one of my former cast members in the school drama we did (she's bi so it's not an orientation problem) Anyway we were becoming really close at the end of the show, but now that it's over I don't see her very often. I'm also way to scared to ask her out because 1. I look up to her so much, I really don't want to lose her as a friend, 2. She's very attractive and I'm... well... not, and 3. She's a senior and I'm a freshman; some people find the three year age difference disturbing. My point is, if this a friendship you think is worth keeping, don't make any move until the signs are for sure. You never know when a person is naturally flirty,just having a nice day, or actually wants you. (In my case, my crush is somewhat of a flirt in that she's very close with her friends, but she barely talks to anyone younger than her except me. She also likes to touch my face and smile at me for a long time, which makes me very nervous :triggered:) Again, I'm nothing special, but I do have one thing: I have charm. Not real charm, just carefully planned moves that I know will make her like me more. But I'm subtle, I drop hints here and there. You should still be yourself because at the end of the day, your crush should like you for who you are, not who you pretend to be :nyschool:

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Not that off topic, but the jealousy is so much worse when your crush is very sexual. She legit wraps her legs around her best friends' necks and they start borderline dry scissoring just for fun in front of everyone and I'm sitting there acting cool while I'm really dying inside ( She did purposely flash me once for ten seconds so I'm not too upset :urite:)

But still don't let jealousy get in the way of love :yesokay:

 

Sorry I didnt understand . Are you a girl or boy ?  And like you said in your situation you just have to wait and read the signs because you're friends and you guys hang out together. 

We're not exactly friends . Work colleague. 

Like I updated the op, he apperantly has a girlfriend. So I cant do this anymore . It has to be over like everytime I did. But my soul has been damaged so many times . I dont have the energy to live . It sucks

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26 minutes ago, BraveGraphics said:

Move on sis .... you will just ending up feeling really bad :outwithit:

 

It is not worth it :lemmetellu:

I have been already feeling bad from the very beginning . 

There is no need to say more I guess

I'll try to move on but it just so difficult for me . 

Thank you

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