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Celebrating the Gay Culture the Wrong Way and How It Damages Us Both Mentally and Physically


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Hey all. Firstly, let me tell you why I decided to write a post about this. Professionally, I am a content writer, and I adore writing some good quality content but usually for work. However, eve

Lovely, thought-provoking post. I'm glad to hear you're okay, in recovery, and that you haven't been going through anything worse.  I do think the gay male community can be very toxic, shallow, a

Beautifully put and wishing you a speedy recovery 

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Lovely, thought-provoking post. I'm glad to hear you're okay, in recovery, and that you haven't been going through anything worse. 

I do think the gay male community can be very toxic, shallow, and demeaning at times, and I've heard it from so many other gay guys too. I think the hyper-***uality originates from our history of only being able to connect in shady public places ***ually while not being able to have loving relationships with other men openly due to homophobia, possibility of losing jobs, social standing, etc., as well as guys just seem a lot more open ***ually. There's also the fact that we can't really pursue normal romantic relationships as easily in everyday situations because we can't ask out guys without worrying about being hatecrimed unless we go to designated clubs or bars, which is generally better suited for hookups and than relationships.  Then, we can go on apps, but it can feel pretty unnatural meeting someone through text/virtually rather than in person. Not to mention, apps can be pretty unhealthy for how easily people can be "discarded," how looks are compared (shallowness), people only going on for attention, etc. 

I think you brought up great points of how important it is for us to care, love, and respect our own selves and bodies first, as well as the others you're meeting along the way. Like you mentioned, it seems a lot of gay guys struggle with being insecure and try to feel loved, attractive, and fulfilled through hookups. It makes sense that so many gay guys feel insecure given that we have a history of being a suppressed minority who has less security in all aspects of life and for whom its much more difficult to pursue relationships in the ways that straights would.

Again, great post, and I hope you recover fully soon!

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Absolutely. I think when you stop wasting time on superficial things, you allow yourself the opportunity to discover and invite meaningful things to come into your life. I'm not saying it is a guarantee. You could die and never find anyone that truly loves you, for example, for you and not what you can offer in body or monetarily. At least your giving yourself that shot or hope because otherwise, there's no hope to be found in fleeting relationships or the attention you can get. It's all temporary. However, the kind of love you build for yourself, that's ultimately real. Even if you have yourself at the end of the day, far more gratifying and reassuring than the kind of falsehood other people may have toward you. In my experience, if you find 2-3 really awesome close friends, can be self-reliant and secure to a degree, that's the realest you might ever get to in this lifetime. And a very select lucky few   get to experience a kind of love that's made for a lifetime — and if you're a conscious being, it's one you hope for, but never expect and wish others well for, for those that do. The world is dark enough that we should root for those that have made it in this life. At least, that's just my philosophy. 

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Beautiful article. I’m happy that you are going to be okay and even happier that you arrived to this realization.

I agree with you, our culture has become so toxic and specially young people tend eat it up easily. We have confounded our right to be free and to be treated with dignity, with licentiousness and shallowness. We have completely lost the point of the fight. 

I was once like that, too. However, time and experience showed me what’s truly important in life, as well as how unimportant all the superficial things that used to be my priorities are.

Welcome to the other side buddy ❤️

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Here comes the tough love. The problem is yourself, you don’t have to blame all gay people or “gay culture” for your actions :oprah_well_there_you_have_it_proof_see_hand:

You’re actually stereotyping a lot of people. Gay people come from all walks of life. You could get married and be a soccer dad instead of living a shallow existence   :oprah_well_there_you_have_it_proof_see_hand:

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10 minutes ago, thebritmaster said:

Here comes the tough love. The problem is yourself, you don’t have to blame all gay people or “gay culture” for your actions :oprah_well_there_you_have_it_proof_see_hand:

You’re actually stereotyping a lot of people. Gay people come from all walks of life. You could get married and be a soccer dad instead of living a shallow existence   :oprah_well_there_you_have_it_proof_see_hand:

You're absolutely right, that was the point of everything I wrote. I didn't write this article to complain, I wrote it so to let all those who behave like I behaved and believed up until recently know that there is more to this life :mhm_britney_nodding_yes_mhmm: I appreciate your input though :) 

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1 hour ago, Urbanney said:

Lovely, thought-provoking post. I'm glad to hear you're okay, in recovery, and that you haven't been going through anything worse. 

I do think the gay male community can be very toxic, shallow, and demeaning at times, and I've heard it from so many other gay guys too. I think the hyper-***uality originates from our history of only being able to connect in shady public places ***ually while not being able to have loving relationships with other men openly due to homophobia, possibility of losing jobs, social standing, etc., as well as guys just seem a lot more open ***ually. There's also the fact that we can't really pursue normal romantic relationships as easily in everyday situations because we can't ask out guys without worrying about being hatecrimed unless we go to designated clubs or bars, which is generally better suited for hookups and than relationships.  Then, we can go on apps, but it can feel pretty unnatural meeting someone through text/virtually rather than in person. Not to mention, apps can be pretty unhealthy for how easily people can be "discarded," how looks are compared (shallowness), people only going on for attention, etc. 

I think you brought up great points of how important it is for us to care, love, and respect our own selves and bodies first, as well as the others you're meeting along the way. Like you mentioned, it seems a lot of gay guys struggle with being insecure and try to feel loved, attractive, and fulfilled through hookups. It makes sense that so many gay guys feel insecure given that we have a history of being a suppressed minority who has less security in all aspects of life and for whom its much more difficult to pursue relationships in the ways that straights would.

Again, great post, and I hope you recover fully soon!

I completely agree with you tbh. We've been marginalized and rejected for so long it shaped our culture in all the wrong ways :mhm_britney_nodding_yes_mhmm: I do believe, though, that now is the time for us to grow and mature as a community. It is time to shape something new in a world where we're not considered a human plague anymore :) 

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37 minutes ago, ToySoldier12 said:

Beautiful article. I’m happy that you are going to be okay and even happier that you arrived to this realization.

I agree with you, our culture has become so toxic and specially young people tend eat it up easily. We have confounded our right to be free and to be treated with dignity, with licentiousness and shallowness. We have completely lost the point of the fight. 

I was once like that, too. However, time and experience showed me what’s truly important in life, as well as how unimportant all the superficial things that used to be my priorities are.

Welcome to the other side buddy ❤️

oh wow, thank you so much :crying1_britney_sobbing_tears_2006_sad: Naturally, I dont mind nor do I judge people who have *** whenevr they want with whomever they want. But for those who still find themselves unfullfilled and lonely, in spite of having so much *** with people, they can read this article and hopefully it will help them shift their focus to other things that will help them strive :) 

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1 hour ago, ObsessedBritFan1 said:

Absolutely. I think when you stop wasting time on superficial things, you allow yourself the opportunity to discover and invite meaningful things to come into your life. I'm not saying it is a guarantee. You could die and never find anyone that truly loves you, for example, for you and not what you can offer in body or monetarily. At least your giving yourself that shot or hope because otherwise, there's no hope to be found in fleeting relationships or the attention you can get. It's all temporary. However, the kind of love you build for yourself, that's ultimately real. Even if you have yourself at the end of the day, far more gratifying and reassuring than the kind of falsehood other people may have toward you. In my experience, if you find 2-3 really awesome close friends, can be self-reliant and secure to a degree, that's the realest you might ever get to in this lifetime. And a very select lucky few   get to experience a kind of love that's made for a lifetime — and if you're a conscious being, it's one you hope for, but never expect and wish others well for, for those that do. The world is dark enough that we should root for those that have made it in this life. At least, that's just my philosophy. 

Everything you said is very true. There are absolutely no guarantees whatsoever in this life, but there is hope and determination, and it's up to us to try :) very well put! 

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