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Lost in my feelings (help)


ExXL

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Hi exhalers , this is my first topic it's a bit too much to read , and I know I'm just another boring gay boy, but I would appreciate it if you could help me with a decision I'm trying to make.

I know many of us are on dating apps and sometimes deal with some personal issues and I just wanted to ask for your advice because I'm feeling a little bit lost .....

So I met that guy who I'm madly in love with, it started as a normal date without too many words and slowly we've developed a "relationship."

He is very attractive and very nice and it makes it even easier to fall in love with him. The thing is he kisses me a lot, he hugs me, he puts my head on his body when we talk, he is doing all of these things that makes me wanna fall for him. 

He texts me sometimes but not often and I know he is very active sexually and he's not looking for a relationship. I know weren't going to be together and I am kinda okay with it, but I think it's funny that he's all of those things after *** when I'm just his bootycall. 

Anyways, I feel like I'm putting myself in torture by letting the situation go on and on like that. 

I don't think I felt so in love  since I was a teenager and sometimes I'm on the verge of tearing up as we go home. Should I tell him how I feel (or at least give a hint) or should I ignore everything and just say goodbye ...? :decisions:
gay-feelings.jpg.bae0b67b0377bb02de38c4f369feafc1.jpg

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If he is sexually active and see other man, it doesn't mean he can't fall for you. 

What I would do : the next time you see each other and that you talk and he puts your head on him, and all those things... ask him if he does that with every guy he has *** with. If he says yes then you'll know it was nothing "special" from him and you should end it. (You can tell him that you're starting to have feelings for him and you don't want it to be hurtfull)
If he says no, and that he only does this with you it could be a hint. At this point I would wait a bit and see if he's up for a drink or something (like an after *** drink maybe?) and see where it goes. 

If you're really on the edge of tearing up but like really really. Then you should have an honest conversation with him about how you feel. You described him as a nice guy so he could understand and talk about it with you ? 

Anyway no need to ignore everything and stop it like that, it won't do good for you imo. 

hope it helps :hugs:

 

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17 minutes ago, Cheshire-B said:

If he is sexually active and see other man, it doesn't mean he can't fall for you. 

What I would do : the next time you see each other and that you talk and he puts your head on him, and all those things... ask him if he does that with every guy he has *** with. If he says yes then you'll know it was nothing "special" from him and you should end it. (You can tell him that you're starting to have feelings for him and you don't want it to be hurtfull)
If he says no, and that he only does this with you it could be a hint. At this point I would wait a bit and see if he's up for a drink or something (like an after *** drink maybe?) and see where it goes. 

If you're really on the edge of tearing up but like really really. Then you should have an honest conversation with him about how you feel. You described him as a nice guy so he could understand and talk about it with you ? 

Anyway no need to ignore everything and stop it like that, it won't do good for you imo. 

hope it helps :hugs:

 

Thank you so much, you're a real sweetheart and have helped :makeitrain::kiss: , and yes he actually invited me to eat one time but I felt a bit insecure , he said that we can meet to eat as friends . So I thought the whole romance thing is turning him on and he does it often .... But I think I'm gonna listen to your words and ask him if he does the cuddling thing after with everyone .... 

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16 minutes ago, ExXL said:

Thank you so much, you're a real sweetheart and have helped :makeitrain::kiss: , and yes he actually invited me to eat one time but I felt a bit insecure , he said that we can meet to eat as friends . So I thought the whole romance thing is turning him on and he does it often .... But I think I'm gonna listen to your words and ask him if he does the cuddling thing after with everyone .... 

I'm happy I could help a little bit ! ;)

Let us know how it turns out !! :nervousney:

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2 minutes ago, Cheshire-B said:

I'm happy I could help a little bit ! ;)

Let us know how it turns out !! :nervousney:

Hehe thnx,and I will ;)

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I feel you @ExXL. Some guys just want to play games. It's about knowing your worth. You are worthy and lovable as is, now. If he can't see that, his loss, not yours. 🙏 

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I think you should really open up and tell him how you feel and if he doesn’t feel the same or doesn’t see you in that way you should really try to move on and forget that guy. Difficult but necessary. Hope it goes the way you want and you have a fairytale romance though. 
 

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On 6/20/2020 at 4:02 PM, ExXL said:

Should I tell him how I feel

Or would that scare him away?
Diary Exhale, tell me what to do
Please tell me what to saaaay

:bop:

 

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I want to show you the different sides of Britney Spears. I am a performer. I am a Mom. I am funny. I am your friend! I am Britney Jean

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Thank you guys , y'all are so cool I'm literally touched :makeitrain: :hugs: 

27 minutes ago, Britneylandia said:

I think you should really open up and tell him how you feel and if he doesn’t feel the same or doesn’t see you in that way you should really try to move on and forget that guy. Difficult but necessary. Hope it goes the way you want and you have a fairytale romance though. 
 

I get it but honestly I don't think I'm gonna tell him directly what I feel , he's kinda shy especially when it comes to talking about feelings, I think it would embarrass him, he's a bi sexual and he has a pretty busy life . 

27 minutes ago, PokemonSpears said:

Or would that scare him away?
Diary Exhale, tell me what to do
Please tell me what to saaaay

:bop:

 

I would actually associate him with 

 . :embarrassed: 

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48 minutes ago, Jordan Miller said:

I feel you @ExXL. Some guys just want to play games. It's about knowing your worth. You are worthy and lovable as is, now. If he can't see that, his loss, not yours. 🙏 

This, this, this. I had one of these guys once and it was one of my biggest dating lessons. If they tell you they're not ready for a relationship, listen to them. Unless you're okay being dragged along by his desires and you can put your feelings aside and just enjoy friends with benefits, then leave. These guys are never good. :nochillbrit:

Looking back, I seriously get so mad at myself for staying and trying to make things work for so long when clearly, I was the only one that wanted to. I ignored every red flag. I feel so stupid for not knowing my self worth and for letting myself stay in that situation. I swore to myself I'd never let myself go through that again. :nochillbrit:

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Everything he does, the affection, would he do that to all the other guys he's seeing if he's sexually active? :idkney: 

I think you gotta just think, fxck it and be honest about how you feel, take a risk. He might be wondering the same about you. You gotta take chances in life! 

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47 minutes ago, reecejwilson said:

Everything he does, the affection, would he do that to all the other guys he's seeing if he's sexually active? :idkney: 

I think you gotta just think, fxck it and be honest about how you feel, take a risk. He might be wondering the same about you. You gotta take chances in life! 

Sometimes he gives me the impression he cares about me and likes me , and other times he acts like he doesn't care at all :tiffeyeroll:....

We have literally a perfect chemistry and I never had bad *** with him so maybe that's why he keeps coming back for more 

But I will definitely try to get some answers before I decide to end the whole thing , if he admits that I'm special to him like he is to me I will not give him up so quickly just to see where things could develop between us .... :sipney: 

Thnx for the advice ❤️

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I learn from experience

love and *** are two different things. I had a discussion with my f buddy about this.

well, for me anyway, I’m the most “romantic” “caring” and made the other person feel as good as possible during sexual counters. Touching, cuddling, talking, watch movies, ordering in food etc. But I’m not in love with that person. It easily could mislead the other person to fall for you. My *** buddy admits this to me and we had a clear discussion about this.

love and relationship takes a lot of work and commitment and a feeling of selflessness. So unless he is caring and thoughtful and thinks about u all the time, constantly messaging you, or suprising you or indicate a level of commitment outside of *** then maybe he is falling for you too.

Otherwise, dont let great intimate sexy moments fool you.

If he is not ready he is not ready. You can simply ask him if he is interested in getting in a relationship, if he says no then you need to clear your head.

you can still have great fun time, but if it’s  soul damaging after a while then maybe be friends first then slowly work towards love. 

 

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23 minutes ago, Kiey said:

I learn from experience

love and *** are two different things. I had a discussion with my f buddy about this.

well, for me anyway, I’m the most “romantic” “caring” and made the other person feel as good as possible during sexual counters. Touching, cuddling, talking, watch movies, ordering in food etc. But I’m not in love with that person. It easily could mislead the other person to fall for you. My *** buddy admits this to me and we had a clear discussion about this.

love and relationship takes a lot of work and commitment and a feeling of selflessness. So unless he is caring and thoughtful and thinks about u all the time, constantly messaging you, or suprising you or indicate a level of commitment outside of *** then maybe he is falling for you too.

Otherwise, dont let great intimate sexy moments fool you.

If he is not ready he is not ready. You can simply ask him if he is interested in getting in a relationship, if he says no then you need to clear your head.

you can still have great fun time, but if it’s  soul damaging after a while then maybe be friends first then slowly work towards love. 

 

Thank you . It may sound confusing but, first I'd like to say that I might be fooled I don't know yet if I'm really in love or in lust , but as someone who has sexDates regularly I can assure you that what I feel with him I haven't felt with no one else , I don't remember being so charmed by someone .... And I love that feeling , it's really special ....  Second I'm not saying that I want a relationship with him , not necessarily , but it's important to me to know that he feels something for me too and that I'm not giving all of me to someone who actually sees me as just another f buddy ... after I will get to know more we'll see where it goes .... Even if he does feel something I would take it slowly. Thanks again ❤️

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Well I think you should put how you're feeling out there. It's always good practice to be communicative. If he's not looking for anything serious, it's likely you'll have to experience rejection (Which is also good practice, though it ******* sucks.) Pining over someone who does not feel the same way is torture and if he lets you know that he does not feel the same way, it's best to move on and stop contact. 

 

In times like this, I know it's hard to see outside of your feelings... but in a year for now things will be better. Keep your chin up and know that you have a support system on here that will want to be of assistance. <3

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3 minutes ago, brycetippe said:

Well I think you should put how you're feeling out there. It's always good practice to be communicative. If he's not looking for anything serious, it's likely you'll have to experience rejection (Which is also good practice, though it ******* sucks.) Pining over someone who does not feel the same way is torture and if he lets you know that he does not feel the same way, it's best to move on and stop contact. 

 

In times like this, I know it's hard to see outside of your feelings... but in a year for now things will be better. Keep your chin up and know that you have a support system on here that will want to be of assistance. <3

Thank you thank you thank you , y'all are awesome and help so much , I'm really appreciative of this forum . :overwhelm:

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You mean you feel like that guy only cares about having ***, and did you add that you have good *** with him? Do you think that is good but at the same time do you think that is bad? Is that what you mean? I think you have to clarify yourself first, what is it that compensates you and is good for you and then have communication with the boy and tell him how you feel, so you can both move forward or not.

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On 6/23/2020 at 1:40 PM, brycetippe said:

Well I think you should put how you're feeling out there. It's always good practice to be communicative. If he's not looking for anything serious, it's likely you'll have to experience rejection (Which is also good practice, though it ******* sucks.) Pining over someone who does not feel the same way is torture and if he lets you know that he does not feel the same way, it's best to move on and stop contact. 

 

In times like this, I know it's hard to see outside of your feelings... but in a year for now things will be better. Keep your chin up and know that you have a support system on here that will want to be of assistance. <3

I agree with this 100% 

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I believe communication is the key. You have to be open with him. If you feel like you should talk to him, do it. 

It could make you happy or sad but in the end, you're gonna be the one who will win. All you'll have to do is accept the answer. That is the secret.

If the answer is not the one you're looking for you're gonna be ok, even when you're gonna be sad. But day after day you'll get better. 

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