Britney Spears, you’ve just endangered your baby and gotten the attention of child services – what are you going to do now? I’m going to a Grammy party, ya’ll! The ex-pop princess-turned-unsafe-at-any-speed mommy attempts to put her bad week behind her and relive her glory days by making the awards scene with husband Kevin Fedeline, a man who may not know much about grooming, fashion or catchy raps, but in this post-Sean-Preston-as-potential-projectile world, now appears to be the brains of this operation. The schnooky squeezes hit the soiree circuit in ticky-tacky togs that look straight off the sale rack, with Kevin making his usual oversized sartorial statement in an I’m-a-big-boy-now jacket, ripped jeans and tongue-heavy sneakers, while Britney… Oh Britney, where to begin… Let’s start from the top and work our way down, shall we? The blonde extensions? We’ve seen Troll Dolls with more natural-looking locks. The sagging plastic-and-leather micro-mini-dress with brutally bad black netting on the bustline? Even fetish-wear has more refinement. Toss in her too cutesy bow-topped shoes and you’ve got a look only K. Fed – from a distance and with a full wallet – could love.


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