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I asked myself: what better way to write about Taylor Swift’s “1989” than with a Coca Cola and a cat on my lap? The answer is there isn’t.

So what “1989” leaked (“leaked”) ahead of its October 27 release, it’s projected to be one (if not the only) album to hit a million in sales opening week. We just get to enjoy it a weekend sooner.

In an attempt to stay relevant and keep up with my fellow blogosphere peers, I decided to give the album several listens and jot down my thoughts. Lucky for me there’s a backspace button. I went in mostly skeptical, expecting to hear Taylor Swift’s interpretation of what she THINKS “in” pop music is – hiring power-house producer Max Martin to churn out some epic jams. That she did, that he did, but something unexpected happened…

1. “Welcome To New York”

What it is: Taylor says she obsessed over moving to New York City before making the big leap. Most citizens of the Big Apple can’t afford to live in a high-rise, walk around with a luxury pet cat or leave gym workouts in stylish label clothes, but Taylor Swift can! She hit up OneRepublic’s Ryan Tedder to pen her unrelatable experience of New York, gifting her robotic-sounding 80’s-vibe anthem for us mere peasents.

Standout lyrics:

The lights are so bright
But they never blind me, me

What would Britney say: I want a house in New York, L.A., Miami, Vegas and a ranch in Colorado.

2. “Blank Space”

What it is: If you told me five years ago Taylor Swift’s transitioning to pop eventually, I imagine I’d assume her sound would be this. The production is simple, chorus is catchy and spills the tea. “Boys only want love if it’s torture?” That’s slightly sexist, but I can’t say I disagree. Us men are complex creatures, and anything Taylor Swift says about us is undoubtedly true.

Standout lyrics:

So it’s gonna be forever
Or it’s gonna go down in flames

What would Britney say: Women don’t need men to feel empowered.

3. “Style”

What it is: I’m sensing there’s an 80’s theme… She whisper-talks something before dropping into the delicious chorus that’s reminiscent of the track before it. “Style” is perfect for driving with the windows down or a Kohl’s commercial.

Standout lyrics:

So it’s gonna be forever
Or it’s gonna go down in flames

What would Britney say: It’s really fun.

4. “Out Of The Woods”

What it is: Taylor debuted this song a few weeks ago and practically broke the Internet. We were force-fed “Shake It Off,” her attempt to say “LOOK! I’M A POP STAR NOW! LIKE MY SONG WITH MAX MARTIN?” Then she handed us “Out Of The Woods” and we forgave her for that ************* she started off with. The beat is thumpy, the vocals fueled by her lost love with ex-boyfriend Harry Styles from One Direction. She uses real life stories no one understands, puts it to a catchy beat and we buy it! Singing about stitches and monsters and hospital beds just sounds silly, but all together makes for a magical track.

Standout lyrics:

The rest of the world was black and white
But we were in screaming color

What would Britney say: To grandmother’s house we go.

5. “All You Had To Do Was Stay”

What it is: Five songs in and at this point I’m questioning my integrity: ‘Am I the person I thought I’d be? Who is that staring back at me? You’re enjoying a Taylor Swift album. What is happening?’ Fortunately I’ll remain unapologetic, because “All You Had To Do Was Stay” is another hit that flows perfectly with the tracklist. Love is a tricky little thing: it blindly leads us down a path towards self destruction because we want to believe everyone is capable of loving you more, loving you how you yearn to be loved. Sometimes you know someone better than they know themselves, but by the time they realize it it’s too late. All they had to do was stay.

Standout lyrics:

People like you always want back the love they gave away
And people like me wanna believe you when you say you’ve changed

What would Britney say: Fedex.

6. “Shake It Off”

What it is: You’ve made up your mind about this Max Martin attempt. It’s the weakest track for me, and if you’re wondering who pissed in my corn flakes it was Will.I.Am.

Standout lyrics:

My ex-man brought his new girlfriend
She’s like “Oh, my god!” but I’m just gonna shake.

What would Britney say: I invented Max Martin lol.

7. “I Wish You Would”

What it is: Don’t you hate people who say they’ve never regretted anything in their life? Sure, life happens the way it’s supposed to happen – even having regrets. Taylor finally admits she’s in the wrong, and that revelation in her song-writing is further proof of her talents. It’s exhausting hearing her blame the guy for the destruction of a relationship, but this time she realizes she played a part. The production fits accordingly.

Standout lyrics:

Wish I never had hung up the phone like I did
I Wish You know that I never forget you as long as I’m living

What would Britney say: Not a girl, not yet a woman.

8. “Bad Blood”

What it is: There’s a fine line between love and hate. Breakups leave a scar on your heart forever because you let someone in, showed them the real you and it went up in flames anyway. Taylor slows things down with “Bad Blood,” but maintains the mid-tempo beat heard throughout most of the album. She’s almost yelling in parts of the song, which I suppose fits the theme of the song. Have fun letting someone new in while you have bad blood towards someone else. Let it go.

Standout lyrics:

I was thinking that you could be trusted
Did you have to ruin what was shining now it’s all rusted

What would Britney say: Are you having trouble focusin throughout the day? Do you find yourself still callin my name.

9. “Wildest Dreams”

What it is: Very ethereal and light. Taylor sings about a guy she knows isn’t healthy for her, but she has no *****. He’s handsome, she’s delusional. I mean, romantic. She wants to capture their intimate moment even if it’s imagined only by her. “Wildest Dreams” isn’t necessarily a power ballad or a slow song, but she takes the mood down a notch.

Standout lyrics:

I thought heaven can’t help me now
Nothing lasts forever
But this is gonna take me down

What would Britney say: A dream within a dream.

10. “How You Get The Girl”

What it is: A peek of pre-pop Taylor Swift makes an appearance in “How You Get The Girl.” There’s less synth & bumping beats and more live instrumentation. The vocals are calm yet still upbeat as she romanticizes about a guy who broke her heart, realized he’s a useless twerp without her and promises to never make the same mistake twice. Put your rose-colored glasses on for this one (don’t mind if I do).

Standout lyrics:

I want you for worse or for better
I would weep for ever and ever

What would Britney say: “With love, you should go ahead and take the risk of getting hurt because love is an amazing feeling.”

11. “This Love”

What it is: An interesting concept is the notion of letting go to get back. Like sand, the tighter you grip love, the faster it slips out your hand. Taylor’s soft and breathy vocals align appropriately for the song’s airy demeanor. I picture Taylor penning a note, slipping it into a glass bottle and sending it off on a still body of water – an example of a fantastically executed and visual song.

Standout lyrics:

These hands had to let them go free
And this love came back to me

What would Britney say: “With love, you should go ahead and take the risk of getting hurt because love is an amazing feeling.”

12. “I Know Places”

What it is: The intro is literally a Sia rip-off, but we’ll forgive her since the album’s enjoyable thus far. Taylor’s presumably singing about the dark side of fame and how it affects finding love, finding a solid relationship and maintaining it once something’s established. It’s mid-tempo ambiance is reminiscent of her earlier stuff.

Standout lyrics:

Loose lips sink ships all the damn time

What would Britney say: Let’s have a great day.

13. “Clean”

What it is: On “Clean,” Taylor cleanses herself of the breakup that once commandeered her life. There’s an aha! moment in everyone’s journey where they realize the fight of holding on is harder than simply letting go. Amidst xylophones and hushy background vocals, Taylor realizes this invaluable life lesson.

Standout lyrics:

Rain came pouring down when I was drowning
That’s when I could finally breathe

What would Britney say: Cause Cinderella’s got to go.

14. “Wonderland”

What it is: T Swift picks up the pace again. One of the most exciting things about falling in love is the immediate rush, excitement, adrenaline of finding someone special. “Wonderland” is a great way to describe that beautifully ****** up world you escape to when beginning the process of baring your soul to someone. It’s a curious phenomenon – this thing called love.

Standout lyrics:

Flashing lights and we, took a wrong turn and we
Fell down the rabbit hole

What would Britney say: Something more urban.

15. “You R In Love”

What it is: I feel I’ve made complete sense analyizing the themes to each song off “1989” thus far, that is until “You Are In Love.” It seems like Taylor wrote down 343 words, threw them in a hat, pulled out four at a time and wrote this song. No, honestly, I have no idea what this song’s about. Probably about being in love or something.

Standout lyrics:

Small talk, he drives
Coffee at midnight, polite reflects
The chain on your neck
He says look up

What would Britney say: Pieces of me.

16 “New Romantics”

What it is: Of ******* course Taylor Swift ends the album with a song called “New Romance,” and why not?! Put it out to the universe, girl. You’ll get that dream guy. Just how the album started, “1989” finishes with a quirky original 80’s-esque jammer.

Standout lyrics:

It’s poker, you can’t see it in my face
But I’m about to play my Ace

What would Britney say: Bye, y’all!

The first half of “1989” is quick and snappy – a perfectly calculated and successful attempt at drawing in a new fanbase, whereas the second half is sure to appease the original die-hards. Congratulations, Taylor Swift. I disliked you whole-heartedly until now. After listening to your new album, “1989,” I must say I love you. I ******* love you and I applaud the direction you evolved to.

Album rating: 4/5