I tried you guys. I tried all day to ignore the fact that Britney’s sort of official website is updating about the shape of eggs.

Now normally at this point in the post I’d trash the self-proclaimed “*****” bloggers, but in an effort to become equally obnoxious regarding both sexes, the team hired a dude named Michael, the “fashion expert” bringing the latest snooze fest on clothes Britney’s never worn before.

And umm, where’s the blonde ***** been? Cause ugh, that British one is still there… OH, and thanks for the drunk dial you left me! I always thought that accent was for show!

So now that I’ve completely not made fun of the fact that Britney’s website is talking about eggs, I’ll instead bring to light the questions we’ve all been asking ourselves: Why is Perez in Britney’s tour? Why does BS.com insist on talking about anyone BUT Britney? Posting videos of Miley Cyrus, drag queens from Paris Hilton’s show or drag queens from “America’s Got Talent” is not OK just because every other update may or may not be about Britney.

I mean, if Britney actually read her own website instead of BreatheHeavy, she’d be shocked and appalled at the ******** they represent her with.

And with their latest egg post, so goes my dreams of ever wanting to be a part of that website.

Such a hot mess. A hot, scrambled mess.

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