Sophia Grace Hits The Billboard Hot 100

According to Billboard, Sophia Grace scored the 87 position on their chart this week, which is impressive given that the tiny teeny-bopper dropped the track as if from nowhere (a gift from God? a test from Satan? the evidence is inconclusive) and decided to embark on a ‘Britney Jean’ influenced promotional strategy. Although let’s bear in mind that at number 90 is a a punk cover of Taylor Swift’s “Blank Space” so how much does a chart position mean these days anyway?

The female empowerment anthem (“Run The World” who?) is clearly a feminist statement on the importance of solidarity amongst modern day women. Featuring flawless rapping (see you later Iggy) and a self-proclaimed ‘hot beat,’ the song will undoubtedly save music in 2015 and is already generating Record of the Year buzz for next year’s Grammys. Backed by what is – no shade – the sassiest/cutest video of all time, the track is set to become the music of a generation, an anthem for all ages and the sound that will forever define this moment in time.

All we can hope for now is the reappearance of 8 year old Rosie McClelland, former sidekick and endless chatterbox. What exactly is Rosie’s fate? Who knows. Perhaps she’s planning her own musical domination and the two will lock head to head in a chart battle to establish once and for all who is the supreme cousin? Perhaps she’s been sacrificed to the gods of Billboard to secure Sophia Grace’s victory over the lesser pop entities? Or perhaps her parents decided she was too damn young to have a music career and that she should go eat crayons like a normal child.

You decide.