Paris Jackson opens up about in her first in-depth interview ever.
Michael Jackson is the undisputed King of Pop and this generation's most prolific pop culture fixture, so when he died in 2009, it left a mark on all of us. For the most part, we've moved on. His only daughter, Paris, can't say the same.
In a new cover story for Rolling Stone, Paris opens up about her profound experience growing up in the spotlight after losing Michael, the destructive ways in which she coped and overcoming those obstacles to become the woman she is today.
"They always say, 'Time heals,'" she says. "But it really doesn't. You just get used to it. I live life with the mentality of 'OK, I lost the only thing that has ever been important to me.' So going forward, anything bad that happens can't be nearly as bad as what happened before. So I can handle it." She adds that Michael still visits her in her dreams: "I feel him with me all the time."
Paris also recalls a harrowing ordeal in which she attempted to commit suicide. An excerpt from RS:
Paris describes herself as "desensitized" to even the most graphic reminders of human mortality. In June 2013, drowning in depression and a drug addiction, she tried to kill herself at age 15, slashing her wrist and downing 20 Motrin pills. "It was just self-hatred," she says, "low self-esteem, thinking that I couldn't do anything right, not thinking I was worthy of living anymore." She had been self-harming, cutting herself, managing to conceal it from her family. Some of her tattoos now cover the scars, as well as what she says are track marks from drug use. Before that, she had already attempted suicide "multiple times," she says, with an incongruous laugh. "It was just once that it became public." The hospital had a "three-strike rule," she recalls, and, after that last attempt, insisted she attend a residential therapy program.
Paris also talks about AEG Live, the tour company Jackson's estate sued following his death. They believed AEG overworked Jackson during rehearsals for his London residency.
"AEG Live does not treat their performers right," she alleges. "They drain them dry and work them to death." She describes seeing Justin Bieber on a recent tour and being "scared" for him. "He was tired, going through the motions. I looked at my ticket, saw AEG Live, and I thought back to how my dad was exhausted all the time but couldn't sleep."
Paris believes Dr. Conrad Murray is directly resposnible for Michael's death.
“It’s obvious. All arrows point to that. It sounds like a total conspiracy theory and it sounds like bullshit, but all real fans and everybody in the family knows it. It was a setup. It was bullshit.”
Read the entire interview here.