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Polygamy

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oh wow, that's actually a really interesting discussion..

me personally.. it just seems wrong in a sense that I wouldn't be able to be together with multiple people myself, though I wouldn't condemn any polyamorous relationships because people should be allowed to do whatever the heck they want.. :snarky: as long as you're not f*cking around without condoms (yeah you, the Grindr hookup bareback gays, you're part of the problem, seriously reconsider your actions) and spreading diseases, you do you! :unbothered:

I actually had my first sexual encounter (under the influence) last week and I felt like a total whore afterwards which reinforced my "hopeless romantic" status even more.. so.. the short answer is "not for me but you do you!!!" :hibebe:

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Just now, I Always Sing Live said:

oh wow, that's actually a really interesting discussion..

me personally.. it just seems wrong in a sense that I wouldn't be able to be together with multiple people myself, though I wouldn't condemn any polyamorous relationships because people should be allowed to do whatever the heck they want.. :snarky: as long as you're not f*cking around without condoms and spreading diseases, you do you! :unbothered:

I wonder what makes people go there in the first place, like how do you even bring that up and if they're truly okay with it...like your partner is sleeping with someone else and you're supposed to be cool about it :ponderney:

anyway I'm mostly curious because I was briefly dating a married couple before I realized what the heck am I getting myself into :umomg:

but that's a whole other story :mhm: 

Just now, I Always Sing Live said:

I actually had my first sexual encounter (under the influence) last week and I felt like a total whore afterwards which enforced my hopeless romantic status even more.. so.. the short answer is "not for me but you do you!!!" :hibebe:

Eh no shame, we've all been there sis :mhm:

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Just now, JustLuvMe said:

I wonder what makes people go there in the first place, like how do you even bring that up and if they're truly okay with it...like your partner is sleeping with someone else and you're supposed to be cool about it :ponderney:

anyway I'm mostly curious because I was briefly dating a married couple before I realized what the heck am I getting myself into :umomg:

but that's a whole other story :mhm: 

Eh no shame, we've all been there sis :mhm:

the shame has disappeared for the most part, I talked it out with another member which helped a lot! it was just weird because I turned into an actual animal, I didn't feel human anymore, it was a rush of repressed horniness and it felt so unlike me.. it was so surreal!!! :orly: there's a lot to learn from that and at least now I have some experience.. life goes on! :hibebe:

dating a married couple? oh boi, that sounds insane! I honestly can't imagine what might go through a person's mind when they're thinking "oh, I want to add another person to this relationship".. maybe there's an actual reasoning but to me it sounds like two people that can't satisfy each other so they need an excuse to cheat without technically actually cheating so that there's no guilt involved.. but hey, that's just me! :cackling:

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Just now, I Always Sing Live said:

the shame has disappeared for the most part, I talked it out with another member which helped a lot! it was just weird because I turned into an actual animal, I didn't feel human anymore, it was a rush of repressed horniness and it felt so unlike me.. it was so surreal!!! :orly: there's a lot to learn from that and at least now I have some experience.. life goes on! :hibebe:

I want deets, PM me :saycheese:

Just now, I Always Sing Live said:

dating a married couple? oh boi, that sounds insane! I honestly can't imagine what might go through a person's mind when they're thinking "oh, I want to add another person to this relationship".. maybe there's an actual reasoning but to me it sounds like two people that can't satisfy each other so they need an excuse to cheat without technically actually cheating so that there's no guilt involved.. but hey, that's just me! :cackling:

There was definitely jealousy, I remember I felt that going on :receipts2:

That and one of the husbands went through the others phone in front of me, Mess :embarrassney:

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Well, I've actually been thinking of this.

I used to want to marry a girl, have a family and still want but at the same time, I feel like I'd be missing nice things from "the other side" lol. I can see myself in a polygamous relationship as long as we are loyal to the opposite sex. For example, if I'm with a girl married, I can be with a guy, she can be with a girl. On the other hand, at first sight, if I was with a guy I wouldn't want to share him... but I'm basing this polygamous thing on a moment in which we've been together for a loong time and it's not the same as it used to be anymore, so I'd agree to be with girls in that case. 

I personally think that those relationships may be very crazy and unpredictable, it seems as if one of the two of us would say: "well, we gotta break up", and proceed to jump into the other person's arms. That sounds scary... if I'm mad in love obviously I'd never consider such things, just when time passed and we've settled down and used to each other...

It's kind of a mess tbh I can't meet a girl and say well, Iet's marry but you know maybe in the future I might wanna bang some dude... Lool...

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Not for me. I actually was kinda seeing a guy years ago who was into it. We established on our first date that we wouldn't be a match and we're just gonna be friends. Of course after that we both started liking eachother but it didn't work out for the polygamy reason. 

Also, my first kiss was someone I fell super hard for. He liked me a lot, I wasn't ready but reached out to him about a year after I first met him. We went back and fourth a bit but at that point he had found his love of polygamy. He was down to 'fool around and get to know eachother better' but didn't want to fully commit. I see him on sites sometimes and he's looking for another boyfriend. Idk, it's just not for me but I can't help but feel like I dodged a bullet with the whole thing. 

Thats all my experiences with it, surprisingly a lot more people are into it. One of my old bosses was a swinger with her husband, they slept around together. Made for some funny stories :cackling:

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It's better then cheating and keeping it on the low. It's like you don't have to cheat because you openly and understanbly (is that a word) have more than one partner. It would be very hard because I'm sure jealousy would arise but if all parties are willing to be a part of it, it works. One of my teachers (when I lived in the middle east) who is a white American woman, referred to the other wife as sister-wife and she was very loving and said they do argue or get in disagreements but they made it work. They have a big family. 

 

 

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No i can't do that, i am not a very jealous person, because a relationship is work for both sides, but i don't want to share him..

I would always feel like a sidehoe in a poly / whatever constellation.

I am not even a sexdate guy, i often feel bad after that.

 

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1 hour ago, popprison said:

One of my teachers (when I lived in the middle east) who is a white American woman, referred to the other wife as sister-wife and she was very loving and said they do argue or get in disagreements but they made it work. They have a big family. 

Something tells me that you made up this story :cackling: This simply doesn't happen. "very loving and they make it work" :cackling: even if it's legit then I feel nothing but sorry for that woman.
Polygamy is not even legal in most countries, it's only allowed in middle east and places with muslim based population. It's a religion based concept: ONE man, marrying 32432 women. None of these women will ever be truly happy.

-------

As for this thread, I can't at many of you confusing polygamy with polyamory.:slowdown:

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On 5/5/2018 at 2:21 PM, Lilith said:

Something tells me that you made up this story :cackling: This simply doesn't happen. "very loving and they make it work" :cackling: even if it's legit then I feel nothing but sorry for that woman.
Polygamy is not even legal in most countries, it's only allowed in middle east and places with muslim based population. It's a religion based concept: ONE man, marrying 32432 women. None of these women will ever be truly happy.

-------

As for this thread, I can't at many of you confusing polygamy with polyamory.:slowdown:

Hi! Just saw this reply! I actually did not make it up. I grew up in Saudi Arabia and men are allowed 4 wives which is a Islamic rule so you're right about that. And I didn't even know about "polyamory". And yeah, I'm sure my teacher didn't have a perfect life but nobody does. There are also people who cheat on their husband or wife and some who have open relationships. I mean, it's a matter of choice, I guess and preference? idk

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29 minutes ago, popprison said:

Hi! Just saw this reply! I actually did not make it up. I grew up in Saudi Arabia and men are allowed 4 wives which is a Islamic rule so you're right about that. And I didn't even know about "polyamory". And yeah, I'm sure my teacher didn't have a perfect life but nobody does. There are also people who cheat on their husband or wife and some who have open relationships. I mean, it's a matter of choice, I guess and preference? idk

Well, then Im really baffled how an american woman who grew up knowing the free western world and equality, got herself into this. No woman will ever be happy in islamic countries where men are considered superior to them. And yes preferences and choices are indeed open relationships or even the cheating and any other choices. Nobody can have a perfect life that's true but they have the equality and freedom of choices to lead as best as possible their lives.Islam doesn't allow that.Certainly not for women and minorities,gays etc.
So yeah I do believe 100% your teacher is not happy lmao. Hell, she can't even divorce her husband without his approval. Only him can divorce his wives without their agreement.:leaving:

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On 5/7/2018 at 12:02 PM, Lilith said:

Well, then Im really baffled how an american woman who grew up knowing the free western world and equality, got herself into this. No woman will ever be happy in islamic countries where men are considered superior to them. And yes preferences and choices are indeed open relationships or even the cheating and any other choices. Nobody can have a perfect life that's true but they have the equality and freedom of choices to lead as best as possible their lives.Islam doesn't allow that.Certainly not for women and minorities,gays etc.
So yeah I do believe 100% your teacher is not happy lmao. Hell, she can't even divorce her husband without his approval. Only him can divorce his wives without their agreement.:leaving:

That was many years ago, I'm old now lol so I don't even know what that teacher and her family are doing now. All I remember is she was a convert and part of a huge family.

As for divorcing in Islam - it is allowed, and at the time of marriage when the contract or whatever it's called, is being signed, the man and woman both have an agreement that if she wants to divorce then he can't stop her. So, I'm not sure who would not have that part in their agreement. and yes, I'm aware that there are terrible situations where the agreement is made without the woman's approval. But in the case of my parents (we're Muslims) my mom can if she wanted and doesn't need my dad's approval. And my my aunt and uncle as well, who did divorce recently. My uncle didn't want to but my aunt did, they are divorced now. 

Anyway, I'm not a scholar or anything so I don't want to give false info, that is just my personal knowledge and experience : ) 

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34 minutes ago, popprison said:

That was many years ago, I'm old now lol so I don't even know what that teacher and her family are doing now. All I remember is she was a convert and part of a huge family.

As for divorcing in Islam - it is allowed, and at the time of marriage when the contract or whatever it's called, is being signed, the man and woman both have an agreement that if she wants to divorce then he can't stop her. So, I'm not sure who would not have that part in their agreement. and yes, I'm aware that there are terrible situations where the agreement is made without the woman's approval. But in the case of my parents (we're Muslims) my mom can if she wanted and doesn't need my dad's approval. And my my aunt and uncle as well, who did divorce recently. My uncle didn't want to but my aunt did, they are divorced now. 

Anyway, I'm not a scholar or anything so I don't want to give false info, that is just my personal knowledge and experience : ) 

You don't live in middle east anymore. Your parents and any muslim parents outside of middle east countries (outside of sharia law lands) if they move to any other country of the western world, like U.S. can divorce anytime they want :)  Women under sharia law countries cannot divorce without their husband's consent.
Thank you for sharing your knowledge and experience tho :)

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