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ovoxo

I need advice from exhale :(

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So I have a boyfriend of a year now. It's been a rough year for us but we've made it work. Today I found out that after one of our arguments, he went out with his best friend and he went on Grindr and met up with a random guy. They didn't do anything sexual, and he told me it was just on a friend note. I'm still really upset and I'm gonna have a hard time trusting him. He's begging for another chance, I know he loves me but I don't know if I can trust him. What would you guys do? He feels like the Justin to my Britney. I know I can move on if I wanted but part of my heart doesn't want to :(

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Don't believe that sh!t, who goes on Grindr for friends :selenerz:

That's fucked up that he went out with his best friend and decided to take some other guy from a hookup app along instead of you, I would be very wary and start distancing yourself emotionally. 

Why are guys such assholes :crying2:

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Sadly I agree with @JustLuvMe :sassybrit:

I mean, we don't know what he did when they were out, but even the fact that he went searching for someone else for the night is kinda fucked. 

Im a firm believer that if someone does something once, they'll do it again. Especially if there are no consequences. No one here can really give you the advice you need sadly, we don't know your relationship with him to give an accurate answer. The fact that he logged onto Grindr at all isn't looking good in his favor though. 

Stay strong my friend, and good luck with everything. You always have your little exhale family if you need to chat:hugs:

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Am i weird when i say i actually did this just for friends not hook-ups sometimes? :calculating: Not often tho, but i mean some guys don't understand that in a relationship such pages are forbidden imho, i mean i could never be in a relationship with my boyfriend being online there (or another website like this one) :lemmetellu: And they shouldn't even bother to going online to such pages, ask him again and make sure that he deletes it now. :lessons:

 

 

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9 hours ago, Chaoscontrol said:

Sadly I agree with @JustLuvMe :sassybrit:

I mean, we don't know what he did when they were out, but even the fact that he went searching for someone else for the night is kinda fucked. 

Im a firm believer that if someone does something once, they'll do it again. Especially if there are no consequences. No one here can really give you the advice you need sadly, we don't know your relationship with him to give an accurate answer. The fact that he logged onto Grindr at all isn't looking good in his favor though. 

Stay strong my friend, and good luck with everything. You always have your little exhale family if you need to chat:hugs:

I was really on the verge of leaving him. He begged for one more chance. When he met up with this kid we were going through a really rough patch. I'm still reluctant about what to do. I feel kind of stupid for forgiving him but at the same time he's my whole life :(

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8 hours ago, Alexanda said:

Am i weird when i say i actually did this just for friends not hook-ups sometimes? :calculating: Not often tho, but i mean some guys don't understand that in a relationship such pages are forbidden imho, i mean i could never be in a relationship with my boyfriend being online there (or another website like this one) :lemmetellu: And they shouldn't even bother to going online to such pages, ask him again and make sure that he deletes it now. :lessons:

 

 

He already deleted it before I found out :crying1:  I even called the dude that he met up with. He told me they only met as friends but I'm still very uncomfortable about the whole thing. Yesterday he came to my house and brought me flowers 

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I'd make him wait for a few weeks. I know it's hard to stay away from someone you love but if you forgive him just like that, there'll be no reason for him to stop and think of the consequences next time around, and he'll expect you to forgive him again, just as easily...

But remember once he's forgiven and you're back together you shouldn't bring it up anymore. So make sure you're ready to re-start your relationship before you jump back in. Or the relationship will gradually turn into hell.

That's what I think. 

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1 hour ago, PieceofBritney said:

I'd make him wait for a few weeks. I know it's hard to stay away from someone you love but if you forgive him just like that, there'll be no reason for him to stop and think of the consequences next time around, and he'll expect you to forgive him again, just as easily...

But remember once he's forgiven and you're back together you shouldn't bring it up anymore. So make sure you're ready to re-start your relationship before you jump back in. Or the relationship will gradually turn into hell.

That's what I think. 

That's smart I really should. I was going to do that but he was constantly calling me and I can't lie I was dying to talk to him. Also it's my last month of summer vacation before moving back to college and I really don't wanna spend the next few weeks all depressed and heartbroken. Ugh this kid has my heart. Love is annoying 

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9 minutes ago, ovoxo said:

That's smart I really should. I was going to do that but he was constantly calling me and I can't lie I was dying to talk to him. Also it's my last month of summer vacation before moving back to college and I really don't wanna spend the next few weeks all depressed and heartbroken. Ugh this kid has my heart. Love is annoying 

Then you can tell him you're hurt, but would also like to give him another chance. And when you're out with him dedicate part of night to pretending to be sad and hurt (which shouldn't be hard) but don't actually bring the issue up or say anything specific(because that'll definitely end up in a fight.) If he loves you he'll try to make you happy again, in time, and if he doesn't, he'll do it again and you will move on next time. :mattafact:

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6 minutes ago, PieceofBritney said:

Then you can tell him you're hurt, but would also like to give him another chance. And when you're out with him dedicate part of night to pretending to be sad and hurt (which shouldn't be hard) but don't actually bring the issue up or say anything specific(because that'll definitely end up in a fight.) If he loves you he'll try to make you happy again, in time, and if he doesn't, he'll do it again and you will move on next time. :mattafact:

It drives me crazy cause I saw him follow some dude on instagram, and I asked about it but he said it was just a random follower. A few weeks later I find out that he met up with him. Trust me it won't be hard to act sad and hurt cause I really am lol. It's sucks cause I always see the good In people no matter what. He's trying to make me happy again. He gave me all his passwords, bought me flowers, and he has his location shared with me at all times. 

On a side note his best friend is a hoe who was begging him to find someone to meet up with, knowing I've been dating him for a year. I hate that bitch :wannadie:

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45 minutes ago, ovoxo said:

It drives me crazy cause I saw him follow some dude on instagram, and I asked about it but he said it was just a random follower. A few weeks later I find out that he met up with him. Trust me it won't be hard to act sad and hurt cause I really am lol. It's sucks cause I always see the good In people no matter what. He's trying to make me happy again. He gave me all his passwords, bought me flowers, and he has his location shared with me at all times. 

On a side note his best friend is a hoe who was begging him to find someone to meet up with, knowing I've been dating him for a year. I hate that bitch :wannadie:

I'll tell you what I'd do. If it was with me, I wouldn't forgive, he shouldn't need to go on that app to find a guy to go out with when his best friend was already going with him, his best friend is a snake but we'll get to that later.

You guys have been together for a year now, another reason for him to stay loyal. I don't buy that, that they didn't do anything, especially knowing that his best friend was there trying to make it happen, it would also be very easy and take 2 seconds for your boyfriend to tell the guy to not tell anyone about what happened. In my opinion, I think you shouldn't remain in that relationship but surround yourself with friends during the next couple months, to avoid depression.

In the mean time, if you decide to stay with your boyfriend, the minimum you should do is make sure that that friend of your boyfriend stays away, tell your boyfriend to pick between you 2 because his best friend is clearly a snake and I would've already lost my patience with him/her. My opinion here.

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14 minutes ago, Edge Of Clockin' You said:

I'll tell you what I'd do. If it was with me, I wouldn't forgive, he shouldn't need to go on that app to find a guy to go out with when his best friend was already going with him, his best friend is a snake but we'll get to that later.

You guys have been together for a year now, another reason for him to stay loyal. I don't buy that, that they didn't do anything, especially knowing that his best friend was there trying to make it happen, it would also be very easy and take 2 seconds for your boyfriend to tell the guy to not tell anyone about what happened. In my opinion, I think you shouldn't remain in that relationship but surround yourself with friends during the next couple months, to avoid depression.

In the mean time, if you decide to stay with your boyfriend, the minimum you should do is make sure that that friend of your boyfriend stays away, tell your boyfriend to pick between you 2 because his best friend is clearly a snake and I would've already lost my patience with him/her. My opinion here.

Oh I already told that bitch off. How are you gonna invite me to your house, try and help me and my boyfriends relationship, and then tell him to find a guy to go out with. In his defense, which there shouldn't be one I know, we were arguing very bad at the time and weren't on good terms. My problem is when I go through a breakup, I tend to hate going out and hanging out with friends. My heart feels too empty. I have a lot of thinking to do and everything you said makes perfect sense. I don't know if I'm sounding stupid or crazy cause love is clouding my mind. 

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1 minute ago, ovoxo said:

Oh I already told that bitch off. How are you gonna invite me to your house, try and help me and my boyfriends relationship, and then tell him to find a guy to go out with. In his defense, which there shouldn't be one I know, we were arguing very bad at the time and weren't on good terms. My problem is when I go through a breakup, I tend to hate going out and hanging out with friends. My heart feels too empty. I have a lot of thinking to do and everything you said makes perfect sense. I don't know if I'm sounding stupid or crazy cause love is clouding my mind. 

Thank god, even I would have a go at his friend for you, as a human with logic, she apologised, right? Even if she did, make sure she stays away, you can never trust that kind of people.

And yeah I totally get you, you're not sounding crazy, you sound like someone in love and sadly your boyfriend seems to not be in the exact same position. I get what you mean since when I have my teenage problems I don't like going out too and doing stuff. Wished I could be your friend to lift you up in these moments. Do your friends know about this mess?

And yeah, I advise you to really think about it, and ask yourself if you are really better off with or without someone like your boyfriend, don't forget that the hardest thing is to end the relationship, after that it gets better and there are plenty of fish in the sea.

 

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12 minutes ago, Edge Of Clockin' You said:

Thank god, even I would have a go at his friend for you, as a human with logic, she apologised, right? Even if she did, make sure she stays away, you can never trust that kind of people.

And yeah I totally get you, you're not sounding crazy, you sound like someone in love and sadly your boyfriend seems to not be in the exact same position. I get what you mean since when I have my teenage problems I don't like going out too and doing stuff. Wished I could be your friend to lift you up in these moments. Do your friends know about this mess?

And yeah, I advise you to really think about it, and ask yourself if you are really better off with or without someone like your boyfriend, don't forget that the hardest thing is to end the relationship, after that it gets better and there are plenty of fish in the sea.

 

Thank you love I really appreciate it. Some of my friends know and they tell me that I deserve better. But I kind of stopped letting them know about my relationship issues cause I feel like they're sick of hearing it. 

His friend messaged me trying to explain that nothing happened sexually, and if something did, it wouldn't matter cause we were broken up (which we weren't, just arguing about petty things). I told her off and called her a hoe and a shitty influence. Not so classy of me but it was my anger talking lol. Luckily she lives hours away and doesn't visit often. I was so close to breaking up, but he really begged me for one more chance, he said I'm the love of his life and I'm all he has. So conflicted. Half a year ago we split for some time, and I tested the waters and went on some dates, but it just didn't feel right. As mad as I am with him, being with him still felt like home. :crying1:

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7 minutes ago, ovoxo said:

Thank you love I really appreciate it. Some of my friends know and they tell me that I deserve better. But I kind of stopped letting them know about my relationship issues cause I feel like they're sick of hearing it. 

His friend messaged me trying to explain that nothing happened sexually, and if something did, it wouldn't matter cause we were broken up (which we weren't, just arguing about petty things). I told her off and called her a hoe and a shitty influence. Not so classy of me but it was my anger talking lol. Luckily she lives hours away and doesn't visit often. I was so close to breaking up, but he really begged me for one more chance, he said I'm the love of his life and I'm all he has. So conflicted. Half a year ago we split for some time, and I tested the waters and went on some dates, but it just didn't feel right. As mad as I am with him, being with him still felt like home. :crying1:

Slaaay for telling her that, I would've done the same and either way she'd never tell you what happened.

As much as I wanna tell you to leave him, it feels like I'm comitting a crime cause you love him so much, you do deserve better:crying1: Hopefully I can get a girlfriend like you.

This isn't the second time he does something of this sort right?:4music:

 

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5 minutes ago, Edge Of Clockin' You said:

Slaaay for telling her that, I would've done the same and either way she'd never tell you what happened.

As much as I wanna tell you to leave him, it feels like I'm comitting a crime cause you love him so much, you do deserve better:crying1: Hopefully I can get a girlfriend like you.

This isn't the second time he does something of this sort right?:4music:

 

Well... something similar happened in January. We weren't as serious as we are now but yeah. 

I just spoke to him and told him that I needed to be alone for a while. And he had the audacity to ask me if it was cause I'm talking to someone else. Ugh I wanna wring his neck but at the same time I wanna marry him. 

You seem like a great person. I'm sure you will attract a hot loyal girlfriend :soyeah:

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1.Why would you go on Grindr for friends? 2. Why would you go on Grindr to look for a friend, when you already have a friend to go out with? :wyd:

f**k that. something's not right there. i'd dump him.

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1 hour ago, ovoxo said:

Well... something similar happened in January. We weren't as serious as we are now but yeah. 

I just spoke to him and told him that I needed to be alone for a while. And he had the audacity to ask me if it was cause I'm talking to someone else. Ugh I wanna wring his neck but at the same time I wanna marry him. 

You seem like a great person. I'm sure you will attract a hot loyal girlfriend :soyeah:

I'm dead at his immature answer. You do that, take some time off, you might actually end up surprised at how you didn't miss him that much.

And thank's for that, you can hit me up whenever you need to talk.

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