Dont Do It, Britney!

Don't do it, Britney!
Some day her prince will come, but it's not sleazy fiance Kevin Federline. The virginal pop tart is finally making her own decisions -- and it ain't pretty.

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By Rebecca Traister

Aug. 23, 2004 | For a moment this week it looked as if pop singer and rebellious cupcake Britney Spears was about to marry her former backup dancer Kevin Federline sooner than expected. It turned out that she was dressed in wedding white just to shoot a video for her cover of Bobby Brown's "My Prerogative." Still, her face adorned the cover of People magazine, where she grinned desperately next to Federline and his perplexed-looking 2-year-old daughter; the accompanying story was about Hollywood's successfully blended families. Then came word that the lovebirds were being considered for "Newlyweds," now that shiny warblers Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey have grown too long in the tooth for the reality show. The prospect of Spears' opening her hormone-racked heart and home to cameras inspired such delight among bored Web surfers that the New York media blog Gawker soon posted several homemade petitions urging NBC to back up the rumor with a contract.

"Not only will I, the Undersigned, tune in, but millions of others who, like me, will enjoy a front-row seat to the most glorious downward-spiral of the last decade," read one of the petitions.

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