Britney Spears on the Road to Hana

sources tell us that Britney is currently on Maui and is looking to rent a house for the three months while she records her, um, "album". K-Fed has not shown his mug in any of the paparazzi picks so far, thus our task is coming up with a list of Maui things to do for a rich single Mom "planning" a professional comeback. Fair enough.

Where To Stay:
Hotel Hana-Maui. Ok we know Brit is renting, but who doesn't wanna spend a couple of nights far far away from everything in Hana? Many claim Hotel Hana is the last authentic place on Maui, if for no other reason than it is so damn hard to get to. You have to drive two hours on the twisty roads of the Hana Highway to reach this oceanfront resort, but once you do the scenery is so peaceful you might even throw away your kabbalah bracelet. The private Sea Ranch Cottages have high, beamed ceilings, enclosed gardens, lead to a private beach, and it on what looks like the edge of the world. You could definitely shake the paparazzi at this place.

Where To Eat:
Hana Ranch Restaurant. Let's face it, Brit is all about greasy comfort food and she should get her share at the Hana Ranch Restaurant. Here you can chow down on tasty fried calamari, herbal spiced bread, and "cowboy-sized" pizza overflowing with toppings, all while soaking in the easterly ocean views, where on clear day, it is said you can see the massive peak of Mauna Kea on the Big Island in the distance--natch.

Where To Get Active:
Pipiwai Trail. It isn't the destination it is the journey right? Pipiwai Trial near Hana has some decent 3-4 hour round trip hikes. The trail will allow you to see Makahiku Falls, the Infinity Pool and the Waimoku Falls, which are almost 400 feet high. This spiritual trail to enlightenment starts at the Ohe'o Gulch bridge.